Nagging questions

The question of how one kills a mole with a potato no longer keeps me awake at night, but the following issues do... Why are the manholes and hook-ups to the sewer system labeled "sanitary waste"? And why do they age beef to make it more desirable? And what is it with goats rampaging the Carolinas this summer? (follow the thread to see eerie shadows of goats flinging themselves at glass walls) If my boss keeps telling me I need to get a cell phone, why doesn't he offer to pay for it? Heck, if the company thinks I need them, I may as well get a home telephone answering machine, an alarm clock and a Global Positioning System while we're at it, on their dime. And a boost in salary to attend these devices 24/7. The real question is: why does it irritate him so much that I don't have a cell phone?