Molly Goatwax

Happy New Year from The Little People

Don't tell me you have no drunken dwarves at your party!

The year winds down

The ten year old went snow tubing and raided my sock drawer for foot coziness. I retaliated by wearing her newest school team shirt. I gave the older daughter a very nice pair of earrings and a half loaf of marzipan along with my most insincere apologies for eating the other half. I raided the refrigerator the other night. The remains of the peach praline pie were calling out to be appreciated. I asked Hubby; "Am I fat?". I had to query twice or three times, because I never ask him if I look fat. He answered in the negative and I slathered the leftover pie with whoop cream and killed it. Then, THEN, I pearlized a hundred more valentines. Because I am on a roll, my order of Saint Peter's Porter came in for my private consumption and I am privately consuming it. Yum, yum, gimmie some. Let's squeeze that in on top of the gnocchi with artichoke pesto and spinach. Next on my agenda: a hot wash and dotting the back of my ears with a bit of Joy, then drifting off to sleep. I hope that in the coming year you may all enjoy many blessings large and small.

In the middle of nowhere

This morning I had to drive out the expressway (yuk ) to the suburbs ( ick ) to pay a bill ( ouch ) in a huge concrete office building ( gag me with a spoon ). I pulled into the vast parking lot ( terrors! ) to the back, and was there attracted to a lone shiney thing in a leafless tree in a median. Closer inspection revealed a huge mirrored Christmas ornament dangling from a sapling with a small fishbowl in its fork. The fishbowl was half full of water, shells and bits of broken glass. In the mound of mulch around the tree were many more shells, marbles and tiny beads. Look.

Somehow it gave me enough weirdness to deal with an insurance agency and I did not have a panic attack. It was a sign.

Two thoughts

How the heck did I get snookered into waking up at night to take care of a stupid toy? Someone else's stupid toy, at that! On the bright side, I've discovered artichoke lemon pesto...

The neglected pet

Among the toys swept in with the maelstrom of seasonal goodies was an imitation tomagotchi for the ten year old. After we pried it out of its bubble and activated it, we tried to make sense of the miniscule and badly translated instructions on the sheet of paper provided. The thing kept chirping and beeping as the tot tried to figure out what button, or series of buttons to press to make it stop. She lost interest after a while so it was up to me, naturally- as the mom-to try to take care of it. I got it through the first night of chirping and beeping only to have it cry and say "BYE" sometime the next morning. Playing with the buttons, I realised that the thing was reset and reborn as it made new demands. So I carried it around and quieted the beeps as I figured out how to play the game. Last night I nurtured it to four virtual years old and put it to sleep only to see it displaying the weepy icon "BYE" again this morning. Like a fool who can't leave well enough alone and who doesn't have enough problems as it is, I started it up again.

Boxing Day

Hubby got to recline in his cowboy-boot print pyjamas watching westerns and playing radio controlled robot with the tot all day while I went about the business of the bar. He would have enjoyed that so much more had his tummy not hurt. As I was plying the taps a customer recalled the pom pom dance I pulled at the Notorious Mount Royal Tavern on Sunday as our football team smeared the final touchdown on the opponant. I advised him to focus on something else as his glass emptied. And, oh! Look at the time! I've been signing valentines.

So many blessings

Today has been rainy and grey. It was a good day to cook up a big meal for the family, except I had to run out for some flour for the gravy. And then again for noodle soup and cola, because Hubby is experiencing some major gastronomic distress that is manifesting its early stages in my system.  Whilst I was juggling pots, many people jangled the phone in my pocket with wishes of merriment-thank you Miss Lis, Snay and Sis especially. You may be pleased to hear that I was able to save the sweet potatos even after they erupted in flames, everything was deeeee-licious and that all of the dishes and pans have been cleaned and put away. Now that I can finally take off these menorah socks, (I waited a couple of days just to be safe) I will take a bath and wash my hair with an organic stout shampoo by an outfit called "Lush". Thanks, Miss A. Anyone want some warm peach praline pie a la mode? With whoop cream in a spray can? How about some nog with some very special rum?

A hit of Blotter

From today's Baltimore Sun:

"Burglary // An electric saw, welding generator, impact wrench, four pounds of shrimp, 24 bottles of soft drinks and two 5-gallon cans containing fuel were stolen between Wednesday and Thursday from a garage in the 7200 block of Sunshine Ave. in Kingsville. "

I always keep several pounds of shrimp handy in my workshop, too.

Festivus

Well, my grievances have been bottled up all year and are ready to be aired, I just gotta find me an aluminum pole for tommorrow. I'm not going to buy one, stealing a lamp post would be too much trouble and the tenants who went home to Sweden yesterday neglected to leave one behind...maybe I will liberate the handle of Mr. Beetz's fishing net and set it upright in a wad of epoxy putty. Then he will have a fresh grievance to air in case he's forgotten all of the other indignities we've heaped upon him over the last twelve months.

How to endear yourself to the neighbors

Hubby was sitting on the couch, inking his cell phone number onto a "For Sale by Owner" sign. "I think I'll put this in the front yard tonight just to see the kid freak out.", he said. I told him it would be a cruel tease to threaten another upheaval as I admired the used dining room table that Viggo had just fetched for us from the Better Junk Store on 36th street. I thought how happy the table and the yams in the bin would make her and envisioned our first big dinner at our new home. We went on to discuss the general progress and planned improvements we are making with the house when his attention shifted to the boat a neighbor stuck in our parking lot for lack of space on the street. It's a small, tatty boat needing paint and some of the press-on registration numbers are missing. I wonder if it floats. Hubby wondered when it will be removed. "Mr. A says it will be gone by Friday, and if not, I suppose you could put a 'For Sale by Owner' sign on it", I offered.