Molly Goatwax

The Art of Lying

Several years ago, I was enjoying a cold beer with a pal one evening at the notorious Mount Royal Tavern, when a newbie pushed between us trying to get the bartender's attention. Impatient, he asked me for the barkeep's name so he could call it out "Thomas Jefferson", I said. "No what's his name?", he replied. So I answered " George Washington", snickering. Even more impatient, the newbie said "c'mon! What's his REAL name?" "Ben Franklin!" By this time it was quite clear to him he wasn't going to get a reliable answer from me, I was laughing so hard. He motioned our server over and demanded his name. "Ben Franklin.", Ben answered with congeniality... But by this time the stranger was quite fed up, convinced Ben and I were in collusion, so he took his beer to a far corner and gulped it down before leaving. Sorry, Ben.

Heavy metals

Lead, cadmium , chromium, cobalt and other heavy metals. In a zip lock bag and clearly marked "OIL PAINT, MAY CONTAIN TOXINS" with the list above and its weight. I hope they don't get smashed up by the TSA or Homeland Security, as did an unmarked wooden cigar box filled with hundreds of dollars worth of fine watercolor crayons and pencils. Smashed to BLITHERINES! Beyond utility and the sharpeners removed. But that was several years ago.

Enough is enough!

I hate being subjected to uninvited advertising. Every time I turn on my phone I have to dismiss a barrage of solicitations for products and services in which I have no interest. You used to be able to get a coupon by clipping them out of the newspaper, but no more. You have to click on a link and give them your name, email address, phone number and zip code to save a lousy dollar or get a BOGO. This invites an avalanche of more spam emails and phone calls from telemarketers. I do appreciate the ability of Face Book to locate long lost friends and the ease of inviting a whole cohort to my gallery openings. The socializing is fun, but the advertising is relentless. Those fun little quizzes? Data miners trying to build your consumer profile, your political views, divine your income, education, race and religion. And the advertisers make such insulting assumptions based on what they think they know. This evening I texted a friend some plans and almost immediately, the subject specific advertising appeared in my messages. Google is almost as aggressive. Thinking of pulling the plug.